The Endless Maybe

When you find that you are putting something off – just not starting – and yet maybe feeling anxious about not starting, then it’s good to say NO to something clearly.

Rather than exist in a state of endless maybe, just say NO, I’m not going to do that, begin that, work on that.

Then, having freed yourself from the anxiety of thinking you should be doing that, you have the space and time, when you are ready, to give a loud and strong YES.

Fear of failure? Really?

Fear of failure is often given as the reason for not doing what we want to do. But what is it really about?

My own theory is that we fear failure because we already feel a failure, but that feeling has been long since denied and suppressed. The child who was told they were a failure, started to show that they were not, albeit aware that they felt that they were.

As time went on, this pretense became the default, and after hiding our “feeling of failure” from others, we hid it very well from ourselves.

This could be managed, were it not for us drawing to ourselves situations which threaten to remind ourselves of our “hidden secret”.

So we get angry, we get aggressive, and we defend without knowing why we do.

All the time, our hidden sense of failure sits in the dark watching and waiting. Waiting for a chink of light, a chink of recognition, a moment of acknowledgement, a beautiful second’s consideration.

Inspire Yourself Today!

To really live true, you need to be inspired. Are you inspired? Would you like to be? Have a need to be?

A life without inspiration is a drudge. Discuss.

To inspire yourself, have a play and complete the following statement:

I want to be the kind if man/woman who… (delete as appropriate)

Begin an essay with that as the focus. Just write and see what comes up.

Inspire yourself today!

Living Life en-Tranced

It’s very easy for daily life to become a series of moving from one trance to another. When this happens, life is experienced like a blur. What happened? Where did the time go? Nothing done again! That kind of stuff.

One way through this is to be aware of what you are doing and, in being aware of it, stop it and do something else.

But to be aware, you need to have an intense willingness to want to be aware. The emotional impetus needs to be there. The BIG why. Why be wide-awake? Why be aware of how you are living your life?

Begin by asking if you are making the best use of your time, of your day? If not, what is happening? Find out. Observe yourself in action. You must see it before you can change it. Record what you do, start to notice and be a hunter of your own patterns.

Using rules for self strengthening

Rules are an excellent and simple way to contain ourselves if we feel that we are going off track. You can set yourself a rule for a period of time with the purpose of learning through keeping to it.

For example, you might set a rule to get out of bed before 9am. Or, to keep your surfing to one designated hour, say between, 5-6pm. There are any number of rules that you might design for yourself.

In this way, we can set ourselves challenges, with the intent of growing in strength within ourselves.

Resistance – exercise

If you find that you are resisting something, then it’s a good practice to simply make that known to yourself.

“I am resisting doing…”

This way, we can at least see what we are doing, and it doesn’t pass by in a dazy haze.

Create your reality – exercise.

Look at a situation, person, object – right now. Notice how you feel about that is based upon how you perceive that situation, person, object.

If there were 10 other people in the room, they would each have a different perception and therefore a different feeling.

That being that case, your own perception is not THE truth, but a DESCRIPTION of reality.

Now, who create this description?

And given that you discover it is you, what other descriptions would serve your purpose more usefully?

And, last but not least, what can you learn about yourself from your current description?

Have a play with this exercise and ponder on the questions given.

Starting the Day

How do you start the day?

You may not think it’s important, but if you can set your intent at the start of the day, this will have a tremendous effect of your focus and your energy levels.

Do this each and every day, and you will notice your intent getting stronger.

For example, you might say, “The gift of life is truly precious, so today, I will make the very best use of this.” 

Fear’s many faces

Fear comes in many guises, and I find that it is easy to justify fear with the aim of escaping from a challenge.

For example, feeling the fear and recognising it, but telling myself, “Oh, I don’t really need to do that right now.” and putting off.

But often, this is simply fear of being exposed, one way or the other. What are we afraid will be exposed? Our less charming beliefs about ourselves. Our shadow-side, if you like.

If deep down, we believe we will never really “make it”, but don’t even wish ourselves to know that’s what we believe, then it’s doubly scary to think of that being exposed through our actions to others.

Once again, the approach is to embrace this particular guise of fear, to feel it, to experience it, and to own it. Because it is only when we own the experience that it begins to have tremendous value for us. Keeping it at arm’s length, or behind a curtain, does us little good.

Needs not Forms

When you begin to explore your purpose, look at what needs are being met by the things (forms) you love to do.

For example, if you draw, what does that feel like? If you write a great report, what needs does that meet? What did you do it for?

To put it another way, What is in it for you?

That may sound self-centered, but the bottom-line is that unless we are meeting our deepest needs, we are most unlikely to be fired-up about anything.

So, once again, rather than ask, What am I to do with my life?, ask yourself, What are my deepest needs?

Then, you will find that the world around you provides many opportunities to fulfill those needs in a myriad different ways.